Experiencing God: African style

"How was Africa?!" This question is asked to me over and over again as I catch up with people. How can I sum up how my trip was when it was so much more then "great" or "awesome." Do you really want to know how Africa was? What I did in Africa? What the people are like? What is the culture? Who is Jesus to them? There are so many more questions to ask then just that simple one. I know it is just a start though.

I think one of the biggest questions I get asked along with it is what did I learn. I know I'm not a big processor, but even looking back I don't think I can say I learned one thing. Does that sound bad?! Let me elaborate. Learning to me implies that you didn't know the thing you learned before. I didn't learn anything, but God stretched me. I didn't learn anything, but I experienced God. Being stretched by God is experiencing God.

I'll start with how God stretched me. We all grow up in our own comfort zones. Mine was in a small, traditional Lutheran church. That box has continually been stretched since college started and I like to consider myself a pretty open individual, but I still don't think I was ready for Africa. Especially African church. Within two days of arriving, I was already in tears from being moved by the Spirit. The first Sunday we were there we went to a church called All Nations. This church represented exactly what the name says. All nations. During worship, we sang a song with the lyrics: We lift one voice, we lift one song. sing hallelujah. (I actually just looked up the song, because its that good: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UIHz6FrT9eg) I looked around and could just see God smile and hear him say: "This my child, is my church. These are my people. Unified." I was so moved to see what God's church looks like that yes, I cried. Revelation 7:9 says "After this I looked and there before me was a great multitude that no one could count, from every nation, tribe, people, and language, standing before the throne and in front of the Lamb." I can only hope and imagine that what I experienced is only a taste of what heaven will be like! My view of God's love for all his people was stretched.

On to another church in the north. I'm sure a lot of people have seen videos of or have heard stories of Africans dancing and being passionate during worship. This is absolutely true! I was really excited to experience this in person, but was still taken out of my comfort zone of swaying back and forth and raising my hands (which is out of my comfort zone of my younger years). People actually left their seats to dance around the room. There would be large "follow the leader" dances around the room that anyone could join. There were youth leading songs. There was mothers leading songs. There were men leading songs. All while dancing and praising God. No one judged anyone else. No one thought I was silly for even trying to join in, except for maybe me! My view on what worship "is supposed" to look like was stretched.

The people of Africa also love to pray! This is something I really enjoyed to see and hear. However, at church mostly, one person would say things they wanted to pray for and then everyone would pray, individually, out loud, at once. The first time it happened I was thrown into confusion. I was self conscious and I don't think that ever went away. I somehow felt that even though the person next to me was praying, they would still hear me and judge me for what I was praying for (even though I have no problem leading prayers in the States on my own). If you know me, you know I have trouble praying and concentrating during prayer. I have really ever since the summer of 2010. So I would watch the Africans around me. I would watch what seemed like chaos to me, but would see them speak with authority. To boldly ask our Lord for things. To believe that these things would be done. And one day it just hit me: God hears every single one of these prayers. Even though they are all spoken at the same time, He still hears and understands every single one of them. What a big and powerful God we have to be able to do that!

I think the final way I experienced God was the fact that I was in Africa. I have wanted to go to Africa and have had a heart for Africa ever since I can remember. This summer I even found a "journal entry" from when I was in elementary school about wanting to go to Africa. My parents have known this, and I think that it worried them to even consider letting me go. One because they were concerned for my safety. Two because I think they were worried I may not come back to live in the States. At one point in my life, I think I wanted that and was okay with that. God has since shown me a different path that I'm completely blessed by! However, it was still largely on my heart to go even for a short time. And after looking into many opportunities over the years, all of which never worked out, it finally happened.

Around February this year, our trip was in jeopardy of being canceled due to lack of male interest, but I prayed that if I was meant to go to let the trip happen, if not then apparently I wasn't supposed to go. Either way, by that time, I was fine with whichever outcome. Well, as one male signed up and dropped out, another signed up at the last minute. Thankfully. Well, then fundraising began. When I knew I was for sure going on the trip, I was at 86% of my original budget. I needed to be at 100% plus the extra money for the trip. After re-evaluating and changing my budget I sent out my last fundraising letter praying that God would move. And that He did!! Within a month a half, not only did I have 100% of my original budget, but also enough for my trip which meant that with my budget cuts, I had a surplus of money!! (The amount raised was a little over $8,000 to put it into perspective). Only God could do that. He gave me the desire of my heart to go to Africa in what seemed like a snap of his fingers.

While I was there, it seemed unreal that I was there. I would have to remind myself a lot: I am in Africa. I actually got to reflect on that fact one morning about a week before we left. We were resting and going on a safari on our way back to Windhoek, and we had the opportunity to get up and watch the sunrise while overlooking a watering hole. We were hoping to see a lion or a cheetah, but no animals came besides these Turkey like birds, but that's beside the point. I remember looking out over the African plains and just thinking: I am in Africa. I am in Africa. I am in AFRICA. This is real. There are elephants and zebras and giraffes out in those plains in the wild because this is Africa. It was surreal. God had given me one of my longest standing desires of my heart. He had heard me and answered, in his time. He gave me a desire of my heart (and many more) because He loves me. Because He wants to lavish his love on me. For me to be able to experience him in this way. I'm pretty sure this also brought tears to my eyes while I sat there reflecting. Our God is pretty great isn't He?!

Now for some pictures of the trip. It's hard to pick just a few and some may be repeats from my newsletter, but oh well. There is also more on my FB page.

Parliament Park in Windhoek

We got to go to an orphanage for an afternoon

"Follow the Leader" Worship

A fav. pic from the safari

My view for the sunrise

I got to experience God's beautiful creation 

My team with the elders of a church our friend is the pastor of

Modern Day Miracles

I recently returned from Spring Break in the beautiful Rocky Mountains near Colorado Springs. The Navigators headquarters are located there, and I've had many opportunities to enjoy all that it has to offer over the last two years on staff, including a beautiful castle, that the Interior Designer in me nerds out about!! The Navigators also have a camp for kids aged from elementary to high school located right on the other side of the mountain. Some of you may have heard about the Waldo Canyon Wildfire last summer. This wildfire not only destroyed over 300 homes (several of which were Navigator staff members homes) it also threatened Glen Eyrie (the castle), headquarters, and Eagle Lake Camp.

 I remember hearing about the fire while in Jacksonville this summer and prayers immediately started going up. To give you a sense of what this fire was like, here is a picture posted by a staff member who was evacuated:

During the fire we would hear reports about how close the fire was to Navigator property or where it was on the property, but no reports about whether or not it had actually destroyed buildings. After the fire, we heard that the fire literally went around Eagle Lake Camp (only destroying one cabin) and stopped before reaching Glen Eyrie and our Headquarters building. These reports and stories were amazing just to hear about, but we got to experience them first hand last week.

As we drove up the mountain to Eagle Lake Camp, further and further out of service and civilization, we saw more and more bits of forest that had been destroyed. We saw parts that had been already cleared after the fire. We saw lines of trees untouched right next to lines of burnt trees. God's sovereignty was visible in the aftermath. Here are some pics of the drive up the mountain; followed by some of the modern day miracles!

 

This is my favorite!! That is Pikes Peak in the background. I feel as though this picture captures the theme of the week: Ashes to Beauty based from Isaiah 61!!

Eagle Lake Camp staff as they left without knowing what they would come back to, prayed for just one person to care about this place as much as they did. Well, as firefighters were on the property to fight the fire (at one point being surrounded) one in particular kept finding Bible verses strewn about and realized that he was helping to protect a Bible camp. As a Christian, this particular firefighter, started to pray and continued to fight with more passion. The one person prayer was answered!

As the fire inched closer and closer, obviously the situation got more and more critical. Then something happened, that none of the firefighters had ever seen before. The fire turned!! It was descending the mountain towards the camp, and then just turned the other direction (You'll see pics in the next story of this). Like it hit a wall and couldn't go any further! How cool is that?!

We not only helped with clean up, but also helped prep everything for their regular camp season, so I ended up actually painting a lot over the week. One of the things that I was able to help paint was the caretakers house. I enjoyed this for many reasons: heat, a framed view of Pikes Peak out the front window while working, and also we got to hear their story of the fire. The caretaker and his wife were actually visiting family in Arizona when the wildfire broke out. When they heard that the camp was threatened, they drove all night long to get back to their house and camp, but when they got to the road the forest was already closed. All they had with them was what they took on vacation and prayer. Lots of prayer. Can you imagine not knowing whether or not your house is in tact/all of your memories are in that house?! I can't!! (I know, I know. treasures in heaven, but I would want to at least try to save some memory books I have). Anyways, the fire that was descending got probably within 300 ft of the caretakers house. Standing on the porch of the house and looking straight across to the other hill with the road in between, there was the fire line!

From the front porch with only the road in between. 

These were just the stories from Eagle Lake Camp let alone stories from Glen Eyrie and Headquarters. Here is another cool picture of God's provision of just how close the fire got to Glen Eyrie.

Does this not just show how sovereign our Awesome God is?!! Soo close, yet even the fire listens to God. Just for reference Eagle Lake Camp is on the other side of that mountain peak. 

And just for fun, here are some pictures of the other things we did this week: 

Just enjoying the cold and painting!

A fellow EDGEr and our only heat source in the bathroom.

We finished the walls and painted all the red you see.

Emily, Allison and I painted all week together. If you look closely you can see paint in all of our hair.

Our fun night out we played cosmic mini golf.

Overall, Spring Break was a great bonding experience not only for KSU students to get to know each other, but also to get to know fellow Navigators at KU and UNK. We were able to hear from great speakers all week, work together for the Lord, and see amazing sunrises/sunsets over the mountains. God.is.great.

Spiritual Glimpses

I recently (as in a few months ago) had a conversation with a good friend that changed my life...and I'm not even sure he knew how influential it was! Let me clarify, changed my life as in how I view God.

To explain the impact of this conversation, I must go back two summers. I was an intern at an amazing church in Kansas City and was working alongside two beautiful women whom I will always be connected with because of the events of that summer. I would like to tell you everything that happened that summer but that would probably be an entire post by itself. So, unfortunately, I may be really vague with the promise that if you were to ask me about it, I would tell you more in depth the events of that summer. To put it simply, we encountered the spiritual world together, and since have been on a journey to discover what we experienced. All three of us have grappled with it in different ways and have come to different conclusions, but in my search for explanation over the last two years, nothing has even come close to the hour conversation I had with my friend.

I will summarize some things that happened that summer: went to IHOP (International House of Prayer) in the middle of the Awakening services: witnessed people talking in tongues, shaking uncontrollably, and healings taking place. Prayed through the church I lived at: was frozen to a table I was sitting on while praying, had to be held up so as not to pass out for being faint with the Spirit, and had black shadows flee from a room/hallway we were praying over/in. Like I said I would love to explain more of that summer to you, because from that synopsis, y'all probably think I'm crazy, so please don't hesitate to ask me more about it. I, as well, thought that what I experienced and witnessed was crazy at times. So fast forward my journey....

Most of us grew up in an environment that focus' on the Father and the Son of the Trinity and happens to mostly ignore the Holy Spirit and it's power. We tend to only experience or want to experience God in so far as we can comprehend, and the Spirit is usually outside that realm of comprehension. However, we are told in Matthew that it is better for Jesus to leave so that the Holy Spirit can enter us. Stop and reread the last sentence and try to take in the impact of that statement....Do we fully believe that? Do we fully believe how much power the Spirit has?

What could this power look like in our lives? Could it be someone laughing uncontrollably to experience joy? Could it be someone shaking uncontrollably to experience what it's like to just let go? Could it be someone speaking in tongues in order to talk to their God? Could it be people receiving prophesies about others? Could it be that our God wants us to experience him FULLY (or at least want to) in every way he has given us. Why can't God work in ways like this?!

To further risk you thinking I'm crazy, I'm going to continue by telling you about a church my friend told me about in California. Bethel Church has feathers that appear out of no where, places that animals with feathers wouldn't even be. They experience gold dust floating upward (not falling, but floating upward) during services. They believe these and many other experiences to be the Shekinah (greek word) glory of God in heaven meeting the earth. Why can't we believe that God would give us his Shekinah glory on earth?!

After this summer and experiencing many more spiritual ways of God the last few months that is too much to put on just one post, I know that I personally even tend to put God in a box. To not take him at his word of how powerful his Spirit, who lives INSIDE of us, can be. So why not start stepping out of our box, our comfort zone, and experience everything God has for us!!

I'll leave you with this quote a fellow EDGEr posted today: Q: "What do you think Jesus would have to say to our generation if He was talking with us right now?" A: "Are you satisfied with too little of me?"

PS. this blog post has been a long time coming....I really am bad at keeping up with this....

Jesus makes me happy.

I often get the question, "So what do you do every week?" Well, that's a good question, but the answer depends on the week. I can only usually share the constants from week to week. One of these constants is being able to meet with students one-on-one and share life with them. I am currently reading through John with one girl and Matthew with another friend. The connections between the two make it really fun to read them at the same time! I want to share with you a little from the latest reading in John, which is also coincidentally part of what our Prayer Retreat from this weekend was focused on so I'll start there.

Cool thing that happened: Before going to the prayer retreat to set up, I had decided to do this weeks reading in John which happened to be chapters 10-12. Later that night at the prayer retreat, we were introduced to the passages that we would focus on for the weekend. Are you ready for this? John 10 and Psalm 23. How cool is it that? I studied it just that day and then got to meditate on it more?!

If you don't know what John 10 talks about it focuses on the Shepherd/Sheep relationship of Jesus and his flock. I was able to have some time to study this more in depth on my own and really break it down, search other passages and come to conclusions. Some word choices stuck out to me while reading through the first time. Verse 5: "But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will RUN AWAY from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice." So who's voice do the sheep recognize? The shepherds! Verse 14: "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me." So in order for the sheep to be able to run away from strangers, which are harmful to them, they must know the shepherd. They must spend time with him, let him care for them, listen to his voice, and follow the shepherd all in order to be rescued from the strangers.

Verse 16: "I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd." Jesus has one flock, one church who is always gathering more sheep from other pens. Want to know an awesome thing about this one flock?! "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand." Verse 28. This means us!! We are the flock that has eternal life, that never perishes AND cannot be snatched from Jesus hands. We are his!!

Now for my excitement over John 11...

John 11 is the story of the death and resurrection of Lazarus. The story insinuates that Jesus already had a relationship with this family of believers, which is why the sisters sent for Jesus to save Lazarus. We know that Lazarus dies, but Jesus tries to tell the disciples and the sisters many times that it wouldn't end in death for the glory of God. Everyone just figured this meant that it was eternal life Jesus was talking about. "'Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.'" verse 11. (foreshadowing!) "'Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.'" Jesus wants them to believe, but at this point they don't understand what. When Jesus finally arrives in Bethany, he is consistently told "If you had been here, my brother would not have died." Mary and Martha believed that Jesus could have saved Lazarus from dying, but nothing is ever thought about Jesus being able to make Lazarus rise again.

We know from Scripture that Jesus was filled with compassion over and over again. This scenario is no different. "...he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled." verse 33. Now for the kicker...Are you ready for this?! "Jesus wept." verse 35. Two words. Shortest verse. BIG reason. Many people believe that Jesus weeping was for the loss of his friend....but, what if.....just what if it was instead for the UNBELIEF of Mary and Martha?! What if Jesus wept for the lack of faith of his dear friends? They only believed he could have saved him, so why not make him rise from the dead?! Again, it is questioned, "'Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?'' verse 37.

To raise Lazarus from the dead Jesus prays, utilizing the power of his Father. Praying big! He prayed "for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." All for the glory, right?! Even more so, Bethany was the same town, that the Jews had tried to stone Jesus in. How do you think Jesus coming back and raising someone from the dead helped that mindset? Jesus risked his life, again, in order for the glory of God to be shown to those who needed to believe.

Jesus has just as much compassion for us! He wants us to believe and spend time with him so we know the difference between the shepherd and the stranger. "He works everything out for the good of those who love him." All for the glory!!

As I write "How He Loves" started playing.....so.great. Sometimes I want a soundtrack to life. :)

Contentment.

To start...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NlJr6TE7b4.... you should listen to this song. Set a Fire by Will Reagan and United Pursuit. AMAZING song. It has been a song I keep going back to over and over while I wrestle with some issues of the heart. "Set a fire down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control."

"No place else I'd rather be, then here in your arms...." If there is one thing that I have found to be true these last few years, it is that Jesus never ceases to pursue me! He continues to do so even when I don't feel it or when I don't feel like I deserve to be pursued. He's really been after my heart this last month. My WHOLE heart, just not the parts that I chose to give to him and what a learning experience it has been.....

Contentment. Something that most single women my age struggle with. Something that is a daily struggle. Something that you may feel one week and the next week not in the slightest. An up and down battle of the heart that is, from experience, very exhausting. I found this in-between stage of life to be hard. There are days I am thankful I am exactly where I am in life, and there are days that I want so much more. The latter is where I become selfish and need to practice the patience that the Lord gives to me. I don't deserve anything that I want, especially when I want it. I don't even deserve the grace that God gives me when I demand those things that I want. I just hear "when will you be content with Me, with the joy that I give you, child?" Rom. 8:28 reminds us that "God works for the good of all those who love him." For now and forever this has to be and will be enough. So each day I will remind myself, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing....Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup...you will fill me with joy in your presence." Psalm 16.

Whether or not you are willing to admit it, most people, men included, have probably struggled with contentment even if it is not in a relationship sense. It is a culturally relevant topic in today's society. We are a society who wants everything bigger and better, and wants it as fast as we possibly can have it. If our fast food isn't given to us fast enough, we get irritated. If the person in front of us doesn't accelerate fast enough at a stop light, we get irritated. We are an addicted society, always searching for the thing that is going to satisfy the searching in our hearts. I think college students may be some of the most susceptible people to this discontentment issue. This is the time of discovery of who you are, where you are going, and all of a sudden you have so much freedom to do so. The decisions made on a daily basis are ultimately made to try to fill a void in a person's heart, or to compete with the person next to them. In such a technological age, there is always something new to try, but nothing satisfies. I have been there, and in different ways, still am. My heart hurts for this void to be filled for those around me. This is why I am here. A reminder on a daily basis as I look to those around me.

Jesus is not only the answer to discontentment of the heart in relationships, but also the answer to discontentment with life in general. "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink." John 7:37.

PS. sorry if this was a little scattered....

Be More.

Here it is, the beginning of a new year again. The time of new hope that this will finally be your year, and putting last year behind you as you move forward. You may or may not make resolutions that that may or may not even make it past the first month. It could be to lose those extra ten pounds gained over the Christmas season or it could be to finally travel to that place you have always wanted to go. Whatever it is, there are always things holding us back.  I have stopped making resolutions, but instead have made goals for this year allowing myself grace. (One of which is to update this more)! So what are these things that hold us back?!

A friend of mine had heard of a 30 day challenge called the Live Dead Challenge that a few of us decided to do over break. This is pretty much a compilation of different missionaries writing on different topics on how to Live Dead with a different unreached people group to pray for each day. In the introduction to this challenge, you are asked to consider tithing two and a half hours of your time a day to spend time with Jesus...I am here to tell you this is hard! I only was able to average about an hour to an hour and a half while home and still struggle finding when to have the time. But that is not the point...I have learned a lot in the time that I have spent and even though I'm already on Day 27 there was one day that stood out to me the most and has become almost my motto for this year. The topic of the day: A Learning Heart: The Call to Be More.

"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15

To quote the missionary directly because he states it so well: "In a recent e-mail exchange with a close friend, I wrote, 'Man, when I grow up I want to be just like you.' He replied simply, 'Be more.' Be more? That's it! That's what Paul is telling Timothy. Be more. Laziness and lethargy are the twin, ugly stepsisters of our fallen nature. But, following Christ demands of us: 'Be more'!" When you throw intimidation into the mix of stepsisters you have quite a heavy mess holding you back from being more for God. But "the call to the nations demands it of us. We cannot escape the conviction that following Christ compels us to uncompromising excellence in our normal Christian lives...We never eclipse the need to be more for Him. It's a lifelong endeavor, a wonderful journey that He takes with us."

This "Be More" principle is the overlying goal for my new year, but I know it won't be easy because the battle of the triplets is a fight we live everyday against Satan. But Jesus is with us, and He gives us strength to "Be more." So how do you want to be more this year?!

"Discipline requires action." And to be more starts today. Good luck, my friends!

National Conference summary.

Ugh, I really need to get better at this whole blogging thing. I know I fail at updating this in a timely manner, and considering it's apparently been since October that I last updated it, there is a lots to update you on. Today will be just a brief overview (compared to everything I could say) of our second EDGE summit/National Staff Conference in Louisville, KY. To begin, a picture montage of some highlights, then to talk about the substance of the summit/conference.

Visiting the Louisville Slugger Factory/Museum where I was able to hold a bat used by Micky Mantle and see a bat used by Babe Ruth for 21 of his home runs. Fun fact: it only takes 30 seconds to make a bat used by a major league baseball player.

Staff picture on the Belle of Louisville where we all ate dinner for a night. It didn't leave the harbor, but it was still fun! Can you tell it is cold/windy outside though?!

We also had a dance party that night! A tradition that will probably be held every time my EDGE class is together.

Our hotel was located on the Ohio River, so we were able to take walks by the river and play Ultimate Frisbee during some down time in a park nearby.

The Robbie Seay Band played a small concert for us one night of the conference. Soo great! Here is Jenny and I with him after the concert, when he thought we were twins.

One of the last nights, part of my staff went out for dinner at Hard Rock Cafe in a little dining district close by. Always a good time with them! 

My beautiful roommates that I was blessed to share not only my room with, but also my life with for the whole ten days! I love these girls so very much!

Now for the substance part of the ten days. As Navigator staff I am very blessed/privileged to be able to hear from some great speakers: Norm Hubbard, Jerry Bridges, Tom Yeakley, Gary Haugen and many others. You may or may not know all of those names, but trust me when I say they are talented and very heartfelt speakers. They are passionate for what they talk about which just spreads to those listening! 

We got to wake up every morning of our EDGE summit to have worship led by one of our own and to listen to Norm talk about the Gospel, specifically Acts 11, 13, 14. In Acts 11 Norm talked about the first intentional outreach to Greeks and the principal of "do whatever you can, with whatever you have, anywhere you are." This saying you don't have to be this extraordinary Christian to share Jesus; you can have "common boldness." The passage also reminded us that our purpose is to bring people to Jesus, not church. 

Acts 13 passage was about keeping our eyes/focus on the Lord. Many good points from this:

• Don't try doing great things for God until you are caught up in the greatness of God.
• Can you joyfully endure the loss of ALL things?
• Bloom where you are planted. Be fruitful right where God put you. Focus.
• He calls people not just overseas, but also home.
• God will never call us to do what He won't equip us to do. 
• Three things could be the center of our life: Jesus, self effort, or self deception.

SO much goodness to talk about; I'm trying to summarize most of it. I could write about all of theses separately in other blog posts so if you want to know more just ask! On to Acts 14....Norm posed five questions to us to think about:

1. Will you allow opposition to divert you from the mission God has sent you on?
2. Will you seek glory from men?
3. Is the Gospel worth the surrender of your life?
4. Do I live with an unaccountable confidence in the presence, power, and purposes of God?
5. Is it my aim to raise up disciples?

Our mission is not a spectator sport!

We had so many other great speakers and workshops that I could go on and on about I will choose to only talk about one other. My favorite session was from a man by the name of Gary Haugen. You may have heard his name or seen his face on national news channels talking about his organization, International Justice Mission, which helps rescue people from situations such as those in the sex slave trade and helps to rehabilitate them and show them Jesus. He spoke to us about the unfamiliar passions of God, posing three questions (passion may be my favorite word, but it really was the content that made this my favorite):

1. Are Jesus and I really interested in the same things?
2. From my life, can people see the passions of Jesus?
3. Do I have a passion for the world or do I send others?

Gary shared with us some of the atrocities he has witnessed in his line of work to show that the most difficult thing people can't understand about God is how He is good when they are in so much pain. This poses the question of what is God's plan to show He is good to these people? Answer: we are the plan. Matt. 5:14, 16 & 2 Cor. 5:20. "Injustice is the abuse of power that takes things from people that God wanted for them." God's call to us from this, Micah 6:8 and Matt. 23:23: do justice, love mercy, walk with God. Those suffering should be able to see God's goodness through God's people!

If you are interested in learning more about what Gary Haugen and his organization does, I would encourage you to check out the IJM website: http://www.ijm.org/  Pretty powerful stuff.

Okay! I think I'm done with this looooong post for now. Maybe my new years resolution should be to update this more...we will see how that goes! :)

Focus.

As I was talking to a fellow EDGEr about a week ago about her experience on campus the topic of honesty came up. How we needed to share the struggles as well as the joyous moments on campus. That the struggles is what makes us stronger and may be able to be improved if shared and prayed about. October is now the month of honesty. So here goes...

Setting my own schedule; motivating myself to get off my bed and do things is hard. It's not that I lack passion or motivation for what I do. I absolutely love my job, don't get me wrong there, but I feel as though Satan has really been plaguing me with distractions. I don't have a set desk or office area so my "office" is my bed, but that doesn't feel like work. It feels like relaxing time. So I go to a coffee shop, but then I run into people I know. Then there is also the distractions of social networking. It's a never ending cycle.

William Borden, a gentlemen who radically changed the eternal destination of so many on his college campus and was called to missions in the early 1900s, wrote in the back of his Bible "No reserves, no retreats, no regrets." I ask that you boldly pray this for me. Pray that these students on campus become my unchanging focus. That this is my undying passion, rather then just my passion. That everything I do is to further the Kingdom and that "everything else is considered loss." (Phil. 3:8). That I am able to leave my comfort zone for the sake of the Gospel.

This is where God has called me and I have been reflecting on how this year is already a quarter of the way done. Wow. I don't want to reflect and have regrets that I didn't do enough. That I held back part of myself. That I was unwilling or too distracted to do something. This is where I want to be and I want to give everything I am to this cause. Please pray. Boldly.

And so it begins.

Wow. It's been awhile since my last post. Shows how busy I've been?! Since then, my job from this summer ended and I went home to fundraise full time for a few weeks before the start of school. Let me share a few things God showed me while I was home.

If you didn't know, my hometown is in a semi drought. We have water restrictions and the rain showers always seem to split right around our town. This has caused quite a bit of stress around my house and things  get tense at times. So driving home for those two weeks, I prayed that God would let it rain just twice. That's once a week. I know God can do that! Meanwhile when I was home, I had a feeling of  semi anxiousness/ helplessness because I didn't have as many appointments that I had thought I needed and felt like I wasn't doing enough to fundraise. I felt like God wasn't listening. Think again, Elizabeth! Well, not only did it rain twice while I was home, it rained four times in those two weeks. It was so great just to have rain that had it not been lightning outside, I probably would have gone and danced in the rain. God was listening to me, and answered in fine form!

Another way he had shown me he was listening to me and would provide all I needed was at the very beginning of those two weeks. A woman at my church had the great idea of having a garage sale that took place the first Saturday back in town. Friday night when I went to go help my mother set up, I was overwhelmed with the amount of donations that were given. With all the stuff that was there, I had prayed that God would provide $1000 from the garage sale including a matching donation from a church organization. Never thinking that a garage sale could actually bring in that much, I guess it didn't cross my mind "wait, God can bring in that much." It was almost as if God was like "watch this!" After the day was done and the money was counted, it actually turned out to be just a few dollars over $1000. Praise the Lord!! I was speechless, humbled, and overwhelmed!

After the two weeks, I was able to go to campus at 66% funded. I was still a little discouraged because I wouldn't have time to really fundraise while on campus for two weeks while we were doing all the welcome to campus activities and I knew I wouldn't want to leave after starting on campus. More on the beginning of school after this, but for now a large announcement: drumroll...........I am 75% funded and haven't had an appointment in the last two weeks, which means I am able to start full time on campus!!!!! It also means, more importantly that God has done everything. I came home this weekend for one appointment. After making a little more than 30 phone calls, I got one appointment . Feeling dejected Friday night I was talking to my parents, and the comment was made by my father "how are we going to get you to 75%?" Cue God again with his "watch this, you don't do anything!" Through a series of blessings the next 24 hours the funding came in! Thank. You. Lord.

Now for being on campus. I. love. these. people. That pretty much sums up my experience so far! I love my staff that I work with, the returning students who are so passionate about our ministry, and the freshman who have shared their heart with me these last two weeks.

God has been working in people, just by observing the response we have gotten from the many outreach activities we have done: handing out freshman bags, giving away free popsicles, and several other get to know you events. We had a good turn out for our first NavNite (sorry Tim if you read this, that's how everyone spells it). It was encouraging to see the number of freshman looking into our ministry.

 However, numbers is not the basis of the ministry. A community of love, grace, and fellowship is what I would say is. And boy, do we have a great community!! Returners wanting to welcome new brothers and sisters to the ministry, wanting to show them what a relationship with Christ looks like, and also just the passion that they have for each other and Jesus. The openness of newcomers to sharing their lives with us. I have gotten such good time with old friends and new ones that at times I was so overjoyed and at rest with the Spirit! I wish you all could experience these people in our community!

Our staff: is great! God definitely had plans when he put us all together. We all think differently, but mesh well together. The four EDGErs had an especially great time bonding while learning a dance for an introduction video we played at the first NavNite. It was a hit! I don't have the final cut of the video with interviews beforehand, but I can show you the video that was recorded. I will apologize for the quality, there are times when you hear the amazingly cute three year old son of some of our EDGErs. The original video is by OK Go, A million ways. Here is our version (you only get the link until I figure out how to embed the video on here):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8afuAdSxCVM

After that little gem I don't know if there is much to say to capture your attention again, but I will leave you with a piece of some fellowship time I had recently. We were discussing how nothing in this life matters without Jesus. How nothing is certain; no absolute safeplace. It sounds like a scary thought, but it was actually comforting to know that Jesus is the ultimate safeplace; the only thing that matters. No anxiety, no worry, and no care matters. In the words of The Message translation: 

"It's all smoke, nothing but smoke. The Quester says that everything is smoke." Ecc. 12:8

More to come on being on campus soon!

Just a few things I've been learning....

Well friends, the last month has definitely been a crazy, hectic busy one. I'm working full time at my job I've had all year in Manhattan and then fundraising every night/weekend. One would think I'm used to this schedule from studio, but this is almost a different busy.

 I felt I just got started with raising support when I went on my family vacation for 10 days. Don't get me wrong, I absolutely loved my vacation and enjoyed the time with my family as we drove through 10 states to/around the east coast and back for a family reunion. I had every intention of fundraising while there and sending out letters. I even had an entire duffle bag full of supplies that we took with us. However, God apparently decided I needed a break already. I was able to get on my computer the first night of our excursion, but when I went to turn on my computer the 2nd day I only got a black screen no matter how many times I tried turning it on and off. Ummmmm...needless to say I freaked out. I tried day in and day out to get my computer screen to turn on (it would have been the 3rd time I had to have my computer fixed within the last semester). So I went through the next 9 days without the use of my computer that held all my addresses I needed. (Lukily, I had backed it up on my external hard drive...that I left at home). My mom even let me download the TntMPD software I needed onto her computer in case I needed it when we got home. I was frustrated and upset. How did God expect me to be able to fundraise without my computer and database? Well, as soon as we hit the KS border on our way home, I texted my best friend's husband, who has built his own computer, to practically beg him to help me fix my computer when I got home. As he was telling me what I needed to do, I tried turning on my computer one last time.....Guess what worked!!! Really?!! I could just hear Jesus telling me I needed to rest and actually enjoy vacation. Thank you!

Another thing that Jesus started showing me on vacation was what it meant to have faith like a child: simply knowing and trusting He is there, no questions asked. My three yr. old cousin was in the car with us many times during our adventures, and by adventures I mean just that. We will just say that driving in new places is stressful in my family even with a GPS. Well in the middle of one of these "stressful" moments my cousin, who doesn't like stressful moments, decided to start singing "Jesus loves you" at the top of her lungs. My family just stopped and listened. This only adds to the list of reasons why she brings joy to my life no matter what mood I'm in or what has happened. She brings smiles!

The other way that Jesus showed me the faith of a child recently is by two girls at my church. I spoke at my church a week or so ago to try to gather interest in what I will be doing and to schedule some appointments and only three people responded. Two of which were the sisters, probably around the ages of 6 and 13. The older one came right up and handed me her interest card because she was interested in being a part of my prayer support team, which I couldn't be more excited about because children oftentimes pray big, and just believe its going to happen! Her younger sister came up to tell me how excited she was for me because "she had tried to share Jesus with a boy at her school and he didn't believe her" Say what?! This six year old is sharing Jesus with people at her school, and I am semi nervous about how people will react on campus?! Talk about convicting! The third I'm also excited to add to my prayer team because we so often talk about the BIG number of funds that we are raising, but what about the BIG goals we have for our campus'? They can only be reached through prayer!

Since returning from vacation, I have found it harder and harder to get back into the swing of making calls and meeting with people. I find the thought of calling people uncomfortable, and finding the courage is barely available. God also had something to say about that...The other night on my way to get coffee with a good friend, I was flipping through radio stations trying to find something to listen to when a sermon caught my attention. It was a gentleman (I didn't catch his name) talking about Deut. 20.

"When you are about to go into battle, the priest shall come forward and address the army. He shall say: 'Hear, O Israel, today you are going into battle against your enemies. Do not be fainthearted or afraid; do not be terrified or give way to panic before them. For the Lord your God is the one who goes with you to fight for you against your enemies to give you victory.The officers shall say to the army: 'Has anyone built a new house and not dedicated it? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else may dedicate it. Has anyone planted a vineyard and not begun to enjoy it? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else enjoy it. Has anyone become pledged to a woman and not married her? Let him go home, or he may die in battle and someone else marry her.' Then the officers shall add, 'Is any man afraid or fainthearted? Let him go home so that his brothers will not become disheartened too.'"

The Officer wants all of the soldiers going into battle. No half way. If their mind will be elsewhere, back in their comfort zone, they should just go back. The speaker then went on to say: We can not accomplish the great plans God has for us, unless we leave our comfort zones. I need to leave my comfort zone in order to bring Jesus to those around me. I am less.

The First Few Steps.

Well friends, it has begun. Nine days staying at a castle in the middle of the Rocky Mts. with 66 of some of the coolest cats around all with the same passion for Jesus that I have!

I had never been to Glen Erie (Navigator headquarters) before, but always wanted to go. It's seriously such a great place to just be with God and lose track of time! (For real, check out the picture)! 

Isn't it amazing?! (Sorry, designer nerd moment). Anyways, among hiking, slack lining and jumping into a freezing cold basin of water, I learned not only a lot about my job for next year, but God really showed me a lot as well. Where to even begin?!

I think the biggest thing that happened while I was there was a perspective change. A perspective change about who I am and more importantly who I am to the Lord. I went to the summit with my heart and head in a completely different place, struggling with my worth (as most women do) and dealing with a lot of things especially in my heart. I felt inadequate and found myself comparing myself to others there. Like I have said before, I also don't do things alone, so I was questioning why God had me do this: alone, the only one from my school/not knowing anyone there.

God didn't let me feel alone for long! I rode out to CO with two amazing girls that I had never met before. These girls were great! They were very inviting and really sweet even though they didn't know me! We definitely were close by the end of two eight hr. car rides and nine days together going through the same experiences! One is even my prayer partner for our funding adventures this summer! God really gave me companionship with these girls so I wouldn't feel as alone going into a new situation. Love these girls and I am privileged to work with them in my region (more on that later) all year!!

Even within the first few days, God wrapped his arms around me and whispered in my ear: "You are worth it!" We studied how Jesus first appeared to Mary Magdalene (who used to be possessed by 7 demons) after He rose from the dead. The FIRST person, out of everyone who may have been more righteous than she, He decided to use her to tell everyone else. This sparked conversations among us about God using the least of these for his good works. Small, shepherd David not only killed a giant but was the next king of Israel. Esther was used to save an entire people. Mary, a mere teenager, bore the living Son of God. If these Biblical characters were worthy to be used, why couldn't I be used as well? This is my calling; God is going to use me; I am worthy to be used!

Another amazing thing that God did in CO was give each one of us on EDGE the encouragement to be able to get through our experiences together. Did I mention we have the largest EDGE class EVER!!! Staff have been praying for years that they have a class of 100. We are the closest with 86ish people. These people are amazing. Seriously. They are all great brothers and sisters in Christ, who were so open and vulnerable with each other that I felt like we all were pretty close by the end of just nine days. We will now all walk together towards the same goal: Jesus, on different campuses lifting each other in prayer. This year is going to be great!

KSU will have a great staff in and of itself. We will have four women on our staff this year. We haven't had a woman on staff for at least 2 1/2 years. How great is that?! We also will have five great Godly men on our staff to be great examples of brothers in Christ. This staff includes our full time staff, staff in training, and other EDGErs. The Heartland region (KSU, KU, UNL, ISU, NWMO) has one of the biggest team of EDGErs as well, which is great. I can't wait to work and walk with all these amazing people this year and to see how God uses each of us on our campus'! This picture doesn't even include the 2nd year EDGErs we will be working with!

Will you please pray that we remain encouraged and positive about funding our ministries for next year and that we continue to trust that God has a plan for us and will provide what we need for his plan?

I will leave you with something to think about. A quote from a NAVS staff wife, "We are ordinary people in love with an extraordinary God!"

New Beginnings...

Hi friends! It's hard to believe that college is pretty much over for me. The last four years have gone by so fast and have been some of the greatest years of my life! 


Coming to college I thought I had the whole Christian life figured out. I went to church, believed in God, and was always known as the "good Christian girl." God wasn't satisfied with me being just that though. Thankfully! Starting with my first painful break up at the beginning of college, Jesus began to break me, mold me, and pursue my heart. I was desperately lost and searching for something more in my life. In walks a girl, I will call her Dawn, into my life. (Ironic that this Dawn was the beginning of my new life in Christ as dawn is the beginning of the day). What a pairing we were; a friendship definitely from God! So much alike it was scary at times! Through this friendship I was shown what a true relationship with Jesus looked like. I learned that my worth was in God, not earthly men and that God's love for me was incomprehensible! What joy I was finding in my Lord!


Dawn was just the beginning of many, many friendships with others in The Navigators, who showed me what it meant to be a brother or sister in Christ. The Navigators quickly became my community of believers in Manhattan. I was in a freshman Bible study with other freshman girls and went to NAVnites every week. I started reading my Bible on a semi-regular basis and learned a lot about Jesus. Then, in the middle of my sophomore year, God decided to shake my world again. The leaders of the then Navigators decided that their vision was aligning more with a ministry called Student Mobilization, so they were going to start a ministry on campus for them. So what did this mean for all of us?


This could be an entire new post, which bits may come out later, but heres the shorthand version. We had to chose: to follow the leaders to this new ministry or be one of the students who tried to rebuild The Navigators on campus with the help of staff from another campus. After prayer and a lot of discussion, I was the only girl from my Bible study and one of the few in my group of friends who decided to continue with the "new" NAVS. This was a difficult decision for me because if you know me, I don't like to do things alone. One of the deciding factors of this decision, however, was that I felt a calling to, as an upper classman, start to take a leadership role and become a Bible study leader myself, which was a non-existent opportunity if I stayed with the leaders. I still remember the first meeting of the "new" NAVS: a few gathered in a small room in our union, two guys and their acoustic guitars; worship started and in flooded people! When we expected maybe 15-20 people, we had about 100! It was a great, overwhelming feeling that maybe, just maybe, we could survive on campus in our ministry! 


Fast forward a lot of growth of me and the ministry, a lot of traveling of staff, and a lot of emotions (also part of the long version of the story) to today. I've been co-leading a Bible study of AMAZING girls for two years. For real, they are wonderful and bring a lot of joy to my life. I'm sure you will hear a lot about them over the next year. We now have full time staff who started this year and they are great as well! Our ministry has grown to be a community of grace and a great place for fellowship. Seriously, I love this group of people!


As many of you know I am now going on staff with The Navigators next year. So why am I going on staff, besides the fact that these people are great?! What brought me to this point? Good questions! I honestly had never been "an EdgeCorps" type of person. I never thought it was for me, until...I was sitting in a senior breakfast at one of our conferences last semester and God put a brochure in front of me and told me "Check this out. What are you doing next year?" (Through many painful experiences, I have learned that when God speaks I should probably obey). So, for the next several months I prayed about applying and I attended a conference specifically about this opportunity, all the while without mentioning it to many people. This conference was an emotional roller coaster because I  heard God calling me to this opportunity, but I knew that my parentals would be less than enthused about me not using my degree for a year. At one point during the weekend, a staff member I was having a conversation with point blank told me "we need someone like you." Really, God?! Okay, okay I'll apply.


Throughout the entire application process (which happened to be about a 25 page application when finished), I kept my parents updated on what I was doing and prayed that God would work in their hearts. The conversations that came in those months were some of the greatest spiritual conversations I have had with them, and God definitely has changed their hearts to become supportive of my decision to go on staff with The Navigators. Praise Jesus!!


That is the how, so back to the why. I was a Resident Assistant in the residence halls on campus for two years. During those two years I encountered a lot of brokenness in the students: addictions, abuse, severe homesickness, depression, cutting, suicidal thoughts, and pregnancy just to name a few. Because of my job, I was unable to truly reach these students to show them who could give them a new life and hope.So without a title of having to befriend them, I want to be able to hang out with these people, love them for who they are, and show them the hope and love that comes in knowing Jesus! A verse that God has shown me, in the last month especially, is Isaiah 42: 6-7:


"I, the LORD, have called you in righteousness; I will take hold of your hand. I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people and a light for the Gentiles, to open eyes that are blind, to free captives from prison and to release from the dungeon those who sit in darkness." 


This is why I want to be on staff with The Navigators. To show this campus that Jesus loves them deeper than we can ever fathom. You should also check out the song "God of this City" by Chris Tomlin. It's a good motivational song for the next year! 


In closing, (I know, finally!), I am creating this blog in order to keep people updated on my journey this next year as I encounter the students on campus, encounter the Spirit, and encounter opposing forces Face2Face. I am excited to see where Jesus takes me and the people I will meet and I fully trust that he will provide for me everything I need for next year!!


P.S. Ask me about how you can pray or support me for next year. And thank you for reading this incredibly looooong blog post. I will try to keep them shorter from now on. Congrats if you made it all the way through!