I recently (as in a few months ago) had a conversation with a good friend that changed my life...and I'm not even sure he knew how influential it was! Let me clarify, changed my life as in how I view God.
To explain the impact of this conversation, I must go back two summers. I was an intern at an amazing church in Kansas City and was working alongside two beautiful women whom I will always be connected with because of the events of that summer. I would like to tell you everything that happened that summer but that would probably be an entire post by itself. So, unfortunately, I may be really vague with the promise that if you were to ask me about it, I would tell you more in depth the events of that summer. To put it simply, we encountered the spiritual world together, and since have been on a journey to discover what we experienced. All three of us have grappled with it in different ways and have come to different conclusions, but in my search for explanation over the last two years, nothing has even come close to the hour conversation I had with my friend.
I will summarize some things that happened that summer: went to IHOP (International House of Prayer) in the middle of the Awakening services: witnessed people talking in tongues, shaking uncontrollably, and healings taking place. Prayed through the church I lived at: was frozen to a table I was sitting on while praying, had to be held up so as not to pass out for being faint with the Spirit, and had black shadows flee from a room/hallway we were praying over/in. Like I said I would love to explain more of that summer to you, because from that synopsis, y'all probably think I'm crazy, so please don't hesitate to ask me more about it. I, as well, thought that what I experienced and witnessed was crazy at times. So fast forward my journey....
Most of us grew up in an environment that focus' on the Father and the Son of the Trinity and happens to mostly ignore the Holy Spirit and it's power. We tend to only experience or want to experience God in so far as we can comprehend, and the Spirit is usually outside that realm of comprehension. However, we are told in Matthew that it is better for Jesus to leave so that the Holy Spirit can enter us. Stop and reread the last sentence and try to take in the impact of that statement....Do we fully believe that? Do we fully believe how much power the Spirit has?
What could this power look like in our lives? Could it be someone laughing uncontrollably to experience joy? Could it be someone shaking uncontrollably to experience what it's like to just let go? Could it be someone speaking in tongues in order to talk to their God? Could it be people receiving prophesies about others? Could it be that our God wants us to experience him FULLY (or at least want to) in every way he has given us. Why can't God work in ways like this?!
To further risk you thinking I'm crazy, I'm going to continue by telling you about a church my friend told me about in California. Bethel Church has feathers that appear out of no where, places that animals with feathers wouldn't even be. They experience gold dust floating upward (not falling, but floating upward) during services. They believe these and many other experiences to be the Shekinah (greek word) glory of God in heaven meeting the earth. Why can't we believe that God would give us his Shekinah glory on earth?!
After this summer and experiencing many more spiritual ways of God the last few months that is too much to put on just one post, I know that I personally even tend to put God in a box. To not take him at his word of how powerful his Spirit, who lives INSIDE of us, can be. So why not start stepping out of our box, our comfort zone, and experience everything God has for us!!
I'll leave you with this quote a fellow EDGEr posted today: Q: "What do you think Jesus would have to say to our generation if He was talking with us right now?" A: "Are you satisfied with too little of me?"
PS. this blog post has been a long time coming....I really am bad at keeping up with this....
Wednesday, October 17, 2012
Monday, April 16, 2012
Jesus makes me happy.
I often get the question, "So what do you do every week?" Well, that's a good question, but the answer depends on the week. I can only usually share the constants from week to week. One of these constants is being able to meet with students one-on-one and share life with them. I am currently reading through John with one girl and Matthew with another friend. The connections between the two make it really fun to read them at the same time! I want to share with you a little from the latest reading in John, which is also coincidentally part of what our Prayer Retreat from this weekend was focused on so I'll start there.
Cool thing that happened: Before going to the prayer retreat to set up, I had decided to do this weeks reading in John which happened to be chapters 10-12. Later that night at the prayer retreat, we were introduced to the passages that we would focus on for the weekend. Are you ready for this? John 10 and Psalm 23. How cool is it that? I studied it just that day and then got to meditate on it more?!
If you don't know what John 10 talks about it focuses on the Shepherd/Sheep relationship of Jesus and his flock. I was able to have some time to study this more in depth on my own and really break it down, search other passages and come to conclusions. Some word choices stuck out to me while reading through the first time. Verse 5: "But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will RUN AWAY from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice." So who's voice do the sheep recognize? The shepherds! Verse 14: "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me." So in order for the sheep to be able to run away from strangers, which are harmful to them, they must know the shepherd. They must spend time with him, let him care for them, listen to his voice, and follow the shepherd all in order to be rescued from the strangers.
Verse 16: "I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd." Jesus has one flock, one church who is always gathering more sheep from other pens. Want to know an awesome thing about this one flock?! "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand." Verse 28. This means us!! We are the flock that has eternal life, that never perishes AND cannot be snatched from Jesus hands. We are his!!
Now for my excitement over John 11...
John 11 is the story of the death and resurrection of Lazarus. The story insinuates that Jesus already had a relationship with this family of believers, which is why the sisters sent for Jesus to save Lazarus. We know that Lazarus dies, but Jesus tries to tell the disciples and the sisters many times that it wouldn't end in death for the glory of God. Everyone just figured this meant that it was eternal life Jesus was talking about. "'Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.'" verse 11. (foreshadowing!) "'Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.'" Jesus wants them to believe, but at this point they don't understand what. When Jesus finally arrives in Bethany, he is consistently told "If you had been here, my brother would not have died." Mary and Martha believed that Jesus could have saved Lazarus from dying, but nothing is ever thought about Jesus being able to make Lazarus rise again.
We know from Scripture that Jesus was filled with compassion over and over again. This scenario is no different. "...he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled." verse 33. Now for the kicker...Are you ready for this?! "Jesus wept." verse 35. Two words. Shortest verse. BIG reason. Many people believe that Jesus weeping was for the loss of his friend....but, what if.....just what if it was instead for the UNBELIEF of Mary and Martha?! What if Jesus wept for the lack of faith of his dear friends? They only believed he could have saved him, so why not make him rise from the dead?! Again, it is questioned, "'Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?'' verse 37.
To raise Lazarus from the dead Jesus prays, utilizing the power of his Father. Praying big! He prayed "for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." All for the glory, right?! Even more so, Bethany was the same town, that the Jews had tried to stone Jesus in. How do you think Jesus coming back and raising someone from the dead helped that mindset? Jesus risked his life, again, in order for the glory of God to be shown to those who needed to believe.
Jesus has just as much compassion for us! He wants us to believe and spend time with him so we know the difference between the shepherd and the stranger. "He works everything out for the good of those who love him." All for the glory!!
As I write "How He Loves" started playing.....so.great. Sometimes I want a soundtrack to life. :)
Cool thing that happened: Before going to the prayer retreat to set up, I had decided to do this weeks reading in John which happened to be chapters 10-12. Later that night at the prayer retreat, we were introduced to the passages that we would focus on for the weekend. Are you ready for this? John 10 and Psalm 23. How cool is it that? I studied it just that day and then got to meditate on it more?!
If you don't know what John 10 talks about it focuses on the Shepherd/Sheep relationship of Jesus and his flock. I was able to have some time to study this more in depth on my own and really break it down, search other passages and come to conclusions. Some word choices stuck out to me while reading through the first time. Verse 5: "But they will never follow a stranger; in fact, they will RUN AWAY from him because they do not recognize a stranger's voice." So who's voice do the sheep recognize? The shepherds! Verse 14: "I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me." So in order for the sheep to be able to run away from strangers, which are harmful to them, they must know the shepherd. They must spend time with him, let him care for them, listen to his voice, and follow the shepherd all in order to be rescued from the strangers.
Verse 16: "I have other sheep that are not of this sheep pen. I must bring them also. They too will listen to my voice, and there shall be one flock and one shepherd." Jesus has one flock, one church who is always gathering more sheep from other pens. Want to know an awesome thing about this one flock?! "I give them eternal life, and they shall never perish; no one can snatch them out of my hand." Verse 28. This means us!! We are the flock that has eternal life, that never perishes AND cannot be snatched from Jesus hands. We are his!!
Now for my excitement over John 11...
John 11 is the story of the death and resurrection of Lazarus. The story insinuates that Jesus already had a relationship with this family of believers, which is why the sisters sent for Jesus to save Lazarus. We know that Lazarus dies, but Jesus tries to tell the disciples and the sisters many times that it wouldn't end in death for the glory of God. Everyone just figured this meant that it was eternal life Jesus was talking about. "'Our friend Lazarus has fallen asleep; but I am going there to wake him up.'" verse 11. (foreshadowing!) "'Lazarus is dead, and for your sake I am glad I was not there, so that you may believe. But let us go to him.'" Jesus wants them to believe, but at this point they don't understand what. When Jesus finally arrives in Bethany, he is consistently told "If you had been here, my brother would not have died." Mary and Martha believed that Jesus could have saved Lazarus from dying, but nothing is ever thought about Jesus being able to make Lazarus rise again.
We know from Scripture that Jesus was filled with compassion over and over again. This scenario is no different. "...he was deeply moved in spirit and troubled." verse 33. Now for the kicker...Are you ready for this?! "Jesus wept." verse 35. Two words. Shortest verse. BIG reason. Many people believe that Jesus weeping was for the loss of his friend....but, what if.....just what if it was instead for the UNBELIEF of Mary and Martha?! What if Jesus wept for the lack of faith of his dear friends? They only believed he could have saved him, so why not make him rise from the dead?! Again, it is questioned, "'Could not he who opened the eyes of the blind man have kept this man from dying?'' verse 37.
To raise Lazarus from the dead Jesus prays, utilizing the power of his Father. Praying big! He prayed "for the benefit of the people standing here, that they may believe that you sent me." All for the glory, right?! Even more so, Bethany was the same town, that the Jews had tried to stone Jesus in. How do you think Jesus coming back and raising someone from the dead helped that mindset? Jesus risked his life, again, in order for the glory of God to be shown to those who needed to believe.
Jesus has just as much compassion for us! He wants us to believe and spend time with him so we know the difference between the shepherd and the stranger. "He works everything out for the good of those who love him." All for the glory!!
As I write "How He Loves" started playing.....so.great. Sometimes I want a soundtrack to life. :)
Wednesday, February 15, 2012
Contentment.
To start...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7NlJr6TE7b4.... you should listen to this song. Set a Fire by Will Reagan and United Pursuit. AMAZING song. It has been a song I keep going back to over and over while I wrestle with some issues of the heart. "Set a fire down in my soul, that I can't contain, that I can't control."
"No place else I'd rather be, then here in your arms...." If there is one thing that I have found to be true these last few years, it is that Jesus never ceases to pursue me! He continues to do so even when I don't feel it or when I don't feel like I deserve to be pursued. He's really been after my heart this last month. My WHOLE heart, just not the parts that I chose to give to him and what a learning experience it has been.....
Contentment. Something that most single women my age struggle with. Something that is a daily struggle. Something that you may feel one week and the next week not in the slightest. An up and down battle of the heart that is, from experience, very exhausting. I found this in-between stage of life to be hard. There are days I am thankful I am exactly where I am in life, and there are days that I want so much more. The latter is where I become selfish and need to practice the patience that the Lord gives to me. I don't deserve anything that I want, especially when I want it. I don't even deserve the grace that God gives me when I demand those things that I want. I just hear "when will you be content with Me, with the joy that I give you, child?" Rom. 8:28 reminds us that "God works for the good of all those who love him." For now and forever this has to be and will be enough. So each day I will remind myself, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing....Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup...you will fill me with joy in your presence." Psalm 16.
Whether or not you are willing to admit it, most people, men included, have probably struggled with contentment even if it is not in a relationship sense. It is a culturally relevant topic in today's society. We are a society who wants everything bigger and better, and wants it as fast as we possibly can have it. If our fast food isn't given to us fast enough, we get irritated. If the person in front of us doesn't accelerate fast enough at a stop light, we get irritated. We are an addicted society, always searching for the thing that is going to satisfy the searching in our hearts. I think college students may be some of the most susceptible people to this discontentment issue. This is the time of discovery of who you are, where you are going, and all of a sudden you have so much freedom to do so. The decisions made on a daily basis are ultimately made to try to fill a void in a person's heart, or to compete with the person next to them. In such a technological age, there is always something new to try, but nothing satisfies. I have been there, and in different ways, still am. My heart hurts for this void to be filled for those around me. This is why I am here. A reminder on a daily basis as I look to those around me.
Jesus is not only the answer to discontentment of the heart in relationships, but also the answer to discontentment with life in general. "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink." John 7:37.
PS. sorry if this was a little scattered....
"No place else I'd rather be, then here in your arms...." If there is one thing that I have found to be true these last few years, it is that Jesus never ceases to pursue me! He continues to do so even when I don't feel it or when I don't feel like I deserve to be pursued. He's really been after my heart this last month. My WHOLE heart, just not the parts that I chose to give to him and what a learning experience it has been.....
Contentment. Something that most single women my age struggle with. Something that is a daily struggle. Something that you may feel one week and the next week not in the slightest. An up and down battle of the heart that is, from experience, very exhausting. I found this in-between stage of life to be hard. There are days I am thankful I am exactly where I am in life, and there are days that I want so much more. The latter is where I become selfish and need to practice the patience that the Lord gives to me. I don't deserve anything that I want, especially when I want it. I don't even deserve the grace that God gives me when I demand those things that I want. I just hear "when will you be content with Me, with the joy that I give you, child?" Rom. 8:28 reminds us that "God works for the good of all those who love him." For now and forever this has to be and will be enough. So each day I will remind myself, "You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing....Lord, you have assigned me my portion and my cup...you will fill me with joy in your presence." Psalm 16.
Whether or not you are willing to admit it, most people, men included, have probably struggled with contentment even if it is not in a relationship sense. It is a culturally relevant topic in today's society. We are a society who wants everything bigger and better, and wants it as fast as we possibly can have it. If our fast food isn't given to us fast enough, we get irritated. If the person in front of us doesn't accelerate fast enough at a stop light, we get irritated. We are an addicted society, always searching for the thing that is going to satisfy the searching in our hearts. I think college students may be some of the most susceptible people to this discontentment issue. This is the time of discovery of who you are, where you are going, and all of a sudden you have so much freedom to do so. The decisions made on a daily basis are ultimately made to try to fill a void in a person's heart, or to compete with the person next to them. In such a technological age, there is always something new to try, but nothing satisfies. I have been there, and in different ways, still am. My heart hurts for this void to be filled for those around me. This is why I am here. A reminder on a daily basis as I look to those around me.
Jesus is not only the answer to discontentment of the heart in relationships, but also the answer to discontentment with life in general. "If anyone is thirsty, let him come to me and drink." John 7:37.
PS. sorry if this was a little scattered....
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Be More.
Here it is, the beginning of a new year again. The time of new hope that this will finally be your year, and putting last year behind you as you move forward. You may or may not make resolutions that that may or may not even make it past the first month. It could be to lose those extra ten pounds gained over the Christmas season or it could be to finally travel to that place you have always wanted to go. Whatever it is, there are always things holding us back. I have stopped making resolutions, but instead have made goals for this year allowing myself grace. (One of which is to update this more)! So what are these things that hold us back?!
A friend of mine had heard of a 30 day challenge called the Live Dead Challenge that a few of us decided to do over break. This is pretty much a compilation of different missionaries writing on different topics on how to Live Dead with a different unreached people group to pray for each day. In the introduction to this challenge, you are asked to consider tithing two and a half hours of your time a day to spend time with Jesus...I am here to tell you this is hard! I only was able to average about an hour to an hour and a half while home and still struggle finding when to have the time. But that is not the point...I have learned a lot in the time that I have spent and even though I'm already on Day 27 there was one day that stood out to me the most and has become almost my motto for this year. The topic of the day: A Learning Heart: The Call to Be More.
"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15
To quote the missionary directly because he states it so well: "In a recent e-mail exchange with a close friend, I wrote, 'Man, when I grow up I want to be just like you.' He replied simply, 'Be more.' Be more? That's it! That's what Paul is telling Timothy. Be more. Laziness and lethargy are the twin, ugly stepsisters of our fallen nature. But, following Christ demands of us: 'Be more'!" When you throw intimidation into the mix of stepsisters you have quite a heavy mess holding you back from being more for God. But "the call to the nations demands it of us. We cannot escape the conviction that following Christ compels us to uncompromising excellence in our normal Christian lives...We never eclipse the need to be more for Him. It's a lifelong endeavor, a wonderful journey that He takes with us."
This "Be More" principle is the overlying goal for my new year, but I know it won't be easy because the battle of the triplets is a fight we live everyday against Satan. But Jesus is with us, and He gives us strength to "Be more." So how do you want to be more this year?!
"Discipline requires action." And to be more starts today. Good luck, my friends!
A friend of mine had heard of a 30 day challenge called the Live Dead Challenge that a few of us decided to do over break. This is pretty much a compilation of different missionaries writing on different topics on how to Live Dead with a different unreached people group to pray for each day. In the introduction to this challenge, you are asked to consider tithing two and a half hours of your time a day to spend time with Jesus...I am here to tell you this is hard! I only was able to average about an hour to an hour and a half while home and still struggle finding when to have the time. But that is not the point...I have learned a lot in the time that I have spent and even though I'm already on Day 27 there was one day that stood out to me the most and has become almost my motto for this year. The topic of the day: A Learning Heart: The Call to Be More.
"Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth." 2 Timothy 2:15
To quote the missionary directly because he states it so well: "In a recent e-mail exchange with a close friend, I wrote, 'Man, when I grow up I want to be just like you.' He replied simply, 'Be more.' Be more? That's it! That's what Paul is telling Timothy. Be more. Laziness and lethargy are the twin, ugly stepsisters of our fallen nature. But, following Christ demands of us: 'Be more'!" When you throw intimidation into the mix of stepsisters you have quite a heavy mess holding you back from being more for God. But "the call to the nations demands it of us. We cannot escape the conviction that following Christ compels us to uncompromising excellence in our normal Christian lives...We never eclipse the need to be more for Him. It's a lifelong endeavor, a wonderful journey that He takes with us."
This "Be More" principle is the overlying goal for my new year, but I know it won't be easy because the battle of the triplets is a fight we live everyday against Satan. But Jesus is with us, and He gives us strength to "Be more." So how do you want to be more this year?!
"Discipline requires action." And to be more starts today. Good luck, my friends!
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